Hello friend/stranger/poor soul who has read everything else on the internet and has now reached the bottom of the barrel. I feel for you.
As this is only my second ever blog entry, you probably know little or nothing about me, so I should warn you I'm a bit of a maverick. Therefore, what you'll find here is a bewildering, possibly even frightening, array of new and revolutionary ideas and concepts. You may find it difficult to wrap your head around some of these ideas, but I can make no allowances for you.
For example, just this morning, I was struck by a radical thought. When you read this, you'll probably find it hard to believe that such an idea could simply pop unbidden into my head, but that's the level that my mind operates at. The idea was this (brace yourselves) - What if, as one year ends and another begins, we look back over the past 12 months and evaluate, possibly even making a list of some of our favourite things.
I know, I know, the trouble with pushing boundaries like this is that people need time to digest these ideas. Take your time, I'll be here...
Wrapped your head around it yet? In that case, without any further ado (because the last thing I want to do is sit here wittering on when I could just get to the point - that would just slow this down and get annoying for all concerned when it would be much more interesting to get straight to the point, which (as you will soon learn) I always do) I proudly present my top ten(ish) films of 2013.
(Another revolutionary idea here - I warned you they'd come thick and fast - the ten films will be presented in reverse order, thus building suspense as to what will take the top spot. I don't know where I get these ideas, I truly don't.)
First then, the films that just missed out on the top ten - Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Both were amusing - very amusing in places - and had a lot to recommend them. And indeed I do recommend them. But both left this viewer with the nagging sense that they could have been better. (In the unlikely case that you'd like to know more of what I thought of Anchorman 2, I've posted a review of it on this blog. I can't be bothered to post a link. It won't kill you to go find it yourself, will it?)
But enough of the also-rans, let's get on with the Top Ten...
11.Kill Your Darlings - Daniel Radcliffe has certainly made some brave choices post-Potter, and this may be his shrewdest. Despite wearing Potter-ish glasses and at one point dancing with a broom, Radcliffe's most famous role is forgotten as he excels in the role of Allen Ginsberg. Dane De Haan also banishes the memory of his irritatingly one-dimensional role in The Place Beyond the Pines to give an intricately-layered performance as Lucien Carr. (And yes, there's eleven films in my top ten. All will become clear.)
10.Man of Steel - Difficult one, this - on the one hand, it's probably the most effective big screen adventure Superman has had thus far, but on the other, it's still very flawed. Superman killing Zod to save innocents is understandable (whatever some of the loonier fringes of fandom may say), but the destruction he himself causes is much less so. However, a top notch cast, a truly beautiful vision of Krypton, and a script which compensates for Clark's invulnerability by exploring his all-too-human need to belong make for a largely successful reboot. Not sure it was wise (spoiler alert) having Lois learn Clark's identity so soon, but it earns points for doing things differently.
9.Thor: The Dark World - Another tricky one. You'd be hard pressed to find too much that this film gets wrong (other than wasting Christopher Eccleston in a nothing role), but at the same time there's little here which truly excites. Thankfully, the regular characters are engaging enough to hold our interest, and there's one or two great comic moments, such as Thor on the Underground and Eric naked at Stonehenge. Loki's abilities make for some nice twists too. Shame about the awful mid-credits scene, though, which sees Benicio del Toro impersonating some of the least effective 60s Batman villains and single-handedly destroying any enthusiasm I had for Guardians of the Galaxy.
8.Wolverine 2 - I refuse to call it The Wolverine, as it's a silly title, but that aside the film got very little wrong. If the last film proved anything, it's that Wolverine works best when he has the other X-Men to kick against, but a strong arc and engaging supporting characters make this one of the better X-films. In contrast with The Dark World, the mid-credit scene does an excellent job of setting up Days of Future Past, as well as confirming that the events of The Last Stand haven't been ignored (which is nice for the three people in the audience like me who care about such things.)
7.The World's End - For most of its running time it's an entertaining but unchallenging adventure in the vein of Shaun of the Dead, but once we learn the extent of Gary's problems it moves into much more interesting territory. Could have done without Martin Freeman's incredibly irritating catchphrase, though.
6.Gravity - A very simple story with familiar characters which earns its place on this list with some of the most breath-taking effects you're likely to see. Sandra Bullock is good too, but the effects are the real star.
5.Captain Phillips - Unlike Gravity, this is all about Hanks' performance as the victim of a gang of Somali pirates. Phillips' arc may be familiar from countless Hollywood movies, but rarely has it been explored with such conviction. Without venturing into spoiler territory, the final scenes convey the effects of such an ordeal with unusual power.
4.Iron Man 3 - From the opening seconds, the third Iron Man film walks a fine line between superhero blockbuster and something much more subversive. Defining scene? Tony's young friend explaining how his father left him. Stark's response may be the single best line of dialogue all year.
3.Doctor Who: The Day of the Doctor - The reason there are eleven films on this list - no doubt some will say that as this was a TV episode which just happened to be shown in cinemas it has no place on this list. To them I say, screw you. Taking my niece and nephew to see this gave me the best experience I can remember having in a cinema this year (and possibly any year.) Smith, Tennant and Hurt make a wonderful team, with the latter particularly good as a Hartnellesque previously unknown incarnation of the Doctor. The moment when all twelve (no, thirteen) Doctors turn up to help is a highlight, though it's trumped by the bit when (spoiler!) Tom Baker briefly appears as a future Doctor to advise Matt Smith's incarnation.
2.Side Effects - An incredibly effective thriller that keeps the viewer guessing as it twists and turns. In a strong cast, Jude Law is particularly good as a well-intentioned but arrogant psychiatrist. To say too much would risk ruining a great film, so just go watch it, okay?
Which means the official best film of 2013 as declared by me is none other than...
1.Rush - Chris Hemsworth seemed to have developed a habit of being the worst thing in a number of great films (Star Trek, The Cabin in the Woods, Thor), but he gives a great performance here as F1 driver James Hunt. Even to someone with no interest in the sport, Rush's portrayal of Hunt's rivalry with fellow driver Niki Lauda is absolutely gripping. If you haven't seen it yet, do so at once. Seriously, now. What are you waiting for? Do it, already! (Notice how I resisted the urge to tell you to Rush to see it? I have some class.)
